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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28945032">it would always end this way</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/farmsicle/pseuds/farmsicle'>farmsicle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Awesamdude is a good friend, Dream is in Prison, Dream is not a good guy, Dream sucks, Emotional Hurt, Gen, GeorgeNotFound is a Good Friend, Hurt GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Implied/Referenced Violence, Panic Attacks, Protective GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Sapnap is Not Okay, Sapnap visits Dream in prison, Sapnap-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Spoilers, Unreliable Narrator, Villain Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:36:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,046</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28945032</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/farmsicle/pseuds/farmsicle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sapnap goes to visit Dream in prison while trying to deal with a lot of conflicting feelings he doesn't understand</p><p>since some people don't read tags<br/>THERE'S IMPLIED PHYSICAL VIOLENCE</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clay | Dream &amp; Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), GeorgeNotFound &amp; Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>142</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>it would always end this way</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Days without Dream on the SMP didn’t change that much, people still went to the nether with caution, scared of death and dreadful process of respawning and those who knew about it didn’t dare  to come close to the End portal. People still stole things and burned down each other's houses with no punishment in sight. No one talked to Sapnap or George when they saw them passing through the streets, armed to the teeth with anxious glances all around themselves.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Once upon a time Sapnap was Dream’s right hand man, if Dream was thrown into the prison no one guaranteed that him and George won’t be eventually, so they decided that if the time comes at least they won’t go down without a fight, even if Punz reassured them that there would be no reason for them to be thrown into the prison. Sapnap was content with living like that. Sometimes he would go and spend a day with Karl or Quackity, just to experience being young and having no worry in the world, but most of the time he stuck to George to calm older’s anxiety about losing him too.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I lost Dream, I can’t let them take you too Sapnap.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Life wasn’t good, it won’t ever be good as long as he looked towards the community house and saw Dream’s smile flashing before his eyes. He blew up their home, what once was a sanctuary for them, one place where they could come without looking over their shoulder, was now just a structure waiting to fall down and neither him nor George had enough strength to rebuild it. That would hurt too much. They were already hurt enough.</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>Life wasn’t good but they would make it through, running from people whispering Dream’s name and keeping his name a taboo when they spoke to one another. It worked like that. It wasn’t living, but his head was still above the water.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So why did Tommy have to come to him that night?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Dream wants you to visit him, said he misses you or some shit”, loud voice of the teen filled the small shack that Sapnap and George built and decided to call home in the hollowed out mountain.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sapnap froze in his spot where he was brewing some healing potions since he ran low on those few days back when he went into the Nether and spent the whole day fighting blazes and wither skeletons. Just to feel something, Just to feel anything when his sword sliced them through or when heat from blazes started burning through his armor. He didn’t turn to Tommy, because maybe that way he could pretend Tommy was joking. Why would Dream want to see him? Dream never cared for him. Did he just want to hurt him?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He slowly opened his mouth to speak, hoping his voice wouldn't betray him and crack as if he was back to being a brat running after George and trying to smear his muddy hands onto the clean linen shirt: “I think you should go Tommy.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That’s what he told me too, the first time I went to visit that is. When I asked him who does he miss the most”, Tommy said, not moving an inch from where he stood.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Suddenly air in Sapnap’s lungs became stale, causing him to place both of his hands on the table in front of him so he wouldn’t fall over while he struggled to take in any kind of air. He didn’t want to be like Dream, he didn’t want to know if Dream missed him, or if there was even a possibility that he did. Then he would think more about him and that would hurt. Tears suddenly found their way to his eyes with Dream’s voice filling his head and his laughter echoing all around him. One of his hands shot up to grip onto the silky shirt he wore (Karl got it for him when he arrived back from one of his trips) hoping to help himself breathe, but that plan fell into the void  immediately when material made him cringe away from it. It was too much. He didn’t want to think about it, he didn’t want to think about Dream all alone in the cell with no one to hear his laughter or his ramblings about the best way to kill one mob or the other. Pit that formed in the bottom of his stomach made him feel like he would throw up everything he ever ate in his life. In the back of his mind he heard two voices, but it was pointless to try and tell who was who.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Out of nowhere there was a hand placed over his chest, applying pressure to it and he felt a warm body behind him. With the hand that he used to hold onto the shirt with he grabbed the hand that was on his chest, squeezing it as much as he could, shutting his eyes so hard it hurt just so he could calm himself. He didn’t want to be sick.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Tommy you need to leave”, he heard George’s steady voice from behind him and tears finally spilled out of his eyes. Why would Dream do this to him?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Why was he even standing in front of the button that would summon Sam and let him into the prison? Why was he even considering it after he told George he won’t go?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sapnap?”, he heard Sam’s voice behind him and his whole body shook to it’s very core. There was no backing out now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“H-Hiya there Sam… uh… I didn’t know if I should schedule or…”, Sapnap spoke as fast as he could, moving from foot to foot when he turned towards Sam, “I can go if you’re not free now you know!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam’s face was as hidden as ever, a sheet of material with a creeper face covering his expression. Sapnap wished he had that, he wished he could hide his emotions like Sam does, like Techno does, like… he didn’t wanna go there. Quackity and Karl always told him he was like an open book whenever he got upset or happy over things. Maybe they were right. Sometimes he hoped that he could cut out all of his emotions and never feel the burning in his throat when he spots a hoodie Dream forgot to take or hears George talk to Karl how everything went to shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to go in?”, the monotone voice made Sapnap wince, he knew Sam almost as long as he knew Dream and George, hearing usually caring and bubbly man sound so… Detached and cold was wrong, it was terrifying. He didn’t like it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If he was in better mental state he would ask what’s wrong, he would try to figure out if Sam was angry at him (even though Tommy told him that Sam was acting a bit odd in general), but all his energy was centered to not falling apart right then and there, so despite all things he wanted to ask all he managed to do was nod, to which he received a nod back. Sam slowly passed by him and pressed the button, within seconds his body was no longer next to Sapnap and the younger boy jumped, but it wasn’t enough to actually scare him. Sam suddenly disappearing was something he saw almost every night when he closed his eyes. Not only Sam… everyone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What took him out of his trance, before he managed to spiral out of control, was a staticky voice that came through the coms on the walls as the portal in front of him filled with purple matter: “</span>
  <b>You can come through the portal now Sapnap.</b>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And so he took one last deep breath, before stepping in, begging in his head that maybe something will kill him on the way through. God he wished that someone heard his prayers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe someone heard his prayers. Maybe they just thought that he deserved this. They would probably be right too, at one point during his walk through the dark walls he genuinely considered asking Sam if he can lock him up too. He deserved it after all. If he didn’t stick with Dream all those times maybe things wouldn’t end this way, if he pushed Dream just a little bit more to just leave the SMP and go live somewhere else, just the 3 of them with no wars or countries. As much as Dream deserved to be in that place so did he. He would have asked, he would but… it was so cold. Despite all the lava obsidian was always cold and without his armour he already felt chills run down his spine when he first entered the prison and he knew it would only get worse as he went deeper and deeper into it, being drenched in cold water certainly didn’t help at all, but he wouldn’t complain. Least he can do is not give Sam more trouble than he already is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stand right here, face front and don’t move”, Sam said in that monotone voice that Sapnap grew to hate during their trip through the prison. That wasn’t Sam that would play around with him and pull harmless pranks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s on the other end of that?”, he asked in a small voice, one of the first times he spoke ever since he entered the prison, only other times were when he was asked to read something or confirm he understood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, he’s in his cell, behind a row of netherite blocks. Those will retract when you enter and get encased in there with him”, with that there was a flick of the lever and Sapnap heard dispensers work. Sam really was a redstone genius.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without his questions and Sam’s short and clippy answers it was quiet, only sound around them was consistent bubbling of lava and hiss it made as it retracted. With no instructions to follow he just stared forward, he didn’t want to die accidentally, dying and respawning always hurt, especially if it was because of burns, he would know. At least it seemed that it wasn’t all that cold when he was a step away from falling lava, so his fingers weren’t on the verge of freezing, but soon even that wasn’t consolation because his mind was suddenly filled with nothing but thoughts. What if Dream didn’t actually wanna see him? What if he’s angry? When Dream got angry he was usually fucking scary, locked in the cell or not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... You will be okay”, the soft tone that he was used to was finally coating Sam’s words as he ruffled his hair, causing him to jump just a tiny bit in surprise, “If he gets aggressive you just have to call for me and I will get you out, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sapnap turned slightly, just his head, to look at Sam, wishing his friend would take off the mask like he did whenever they were relaxing before… everything. Even with dark thoughts threatening to spill into his consciousness he nodded gently, shooting Sam an unsure smile. At least Sam cared… he wasn’t angry, he was just doing his job. He leaned into the hand, for just a moment to feel the warmth before he saw the lava fall lower than his eye level. He wasn’t ready for the sea of lava that he saw and he was even less ready to see a man in a green hoodie standing behind the netherite blocks. Every common sense was almost entirely overridden by instinct and his first reaction was to start stepping back because he didn’t want Dream to look at him with disappointment filled eyes. Only thing that kept him in place was Sam’s hand on his back, stopping him from running away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He can’t hurt you. I won’t let that happen”, Sam said with a steady voice, reassuring him while keeping his eyes on Dream who stood looking towards them, “I won’t lose another friend.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He heard it, he did, but even if he did Sapnap couldn’t force the words out of his mouth, his eyes staring into Dream’s uncovered face. He couldn’t see his expression, but not because his iconic ceramic white mask was covering it, he was just too far. If he got closer he’d get to see Dream, see his best friend, his brother, for the first time in months. Sapnap missed seeing the emerald green eyes and small freckles that covered Dream’s face every day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll move away now, when the platform starts moving you have to start walking with it or you will fall, understood?”, finally his thoughts were broken by Sam, who stepped back, walking over to a row of levers and pulled one, giving Sapnap just enough time to realize what was happening before he started making steps.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sapnap’s heart felt like it was climbing up his throat, he could feel every beat and hear it in his ears, hissing of the lava not making him even flinch while he moved one foot in front of the other. Only thing he tried to focus on were Dream’s features that became more defined the closer he got. He could see the look of… confusion (?) that covered blonde’s face the closer he got. Dream’s eyebrows were furrowed, his lips forming an uncertain line with his head gently cocked to the side when Sapnap finally stepped into the obsidian cell. It was cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Sapnap didn’t even pay any mind to the voice that rang through the coms as he walked closer, only stopping when his foot hit the netherite blocks that were standing between him and Dream. Dream’s eyes were as green as ever, though complexion, paler than Sapnap remembered, of his face made them seem even brighter. There were light reddish eye bags making traces under Dream’s eyes showing that man probably didn’t sleep (it’s not that Dream needed sleep, it’s just that he got eye bags when he didn’t allow his body to get some rest). Green hoodie that Sapnap remembered Sam asking them for after a week or so of Dream’s time in prison was baggy on Dream, though that wasn’t surprising, Dream was always lean, but several months in prison probably caused him to lose most of his muscle mass since he couldn’t do his usual exercises (Sapnap missed manhunts). Hoodie seemed clean though, as did Dream’s hair. Of course it did. If Dream couldn’t control everything at least he could control the way he looked, even if Sapnap doubted that Dream liked this hair THAT long, it seemed to reach his shoulder blades, instead of reaching just down to his shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither of them spoke at first, not while the netherite blocks were still between them, but the moment they disappeared with the shifting of the pistons Dream spoke up: “Hi there Sap… I didn’t expect--I-.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without thinking Sapnap’s hand reached for Dream’s face and Dream allowed it, because no matter what state he was in, Dream would be able to stop Sapnap from touching him if he wanted to. With a gentle hand Sapnap went over the spaces on his best friend's face where freckles usually popped out in contrast to the rest of Dream’s skin. They were still there, but they seemed so incredibly light. If he didn’t know they were supposed to be there he would miss them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your freckles…”, Sapnap said sadly, running his finger over his cheek bone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah… being stuck for months without natural Sun probably made them fade”, Dream’s tone was gentle (it was also seeping with venom and anger), at least that’s what Sapnap’s brain heard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Immediately Sapnap’s hand dropped from Dream’s cheek, guilt collecting in the bottom of his stomach, this was his fault: “Tommy said… he said you asked to see me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream seemed to be taken aback, his eyes filling with confusion once again before a smile crossed his face: “I didn’t think he’d tell you… I just missed you, wanted to know how you are, how’s George? How’s… everyone? Tommy really isn’t specific when I ask him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How was he? … that was a good question. He was okay… he was okay except when he woke up from a nightmare when all of his friends disappeared and he’s left in an empty community house that was falling apart around him (it happened every night in the last week). He was okay until he had to look at Quackity’s face and see half of his lip missing. He was okay until he heard George wake up screaming his name before he sobbed his eyes out. George doesn’t sleep much anymore. Karl still smiles, but Sapnap catches his shadow in the doorway of his room when he’s watching over him at night. Bad doesn’t come to bake cookies anymore and Puffy is too broken over losing her ducking. Suddenly there was bile… no that wasn’t it… it was anger... pure hatred that rose up in Sapnap’s throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would you care?”, he finally spoke, after what felt like eternity of silence, his voice filled with just a bit of fire that it carried before everything was ruined, before Dream went and manipulated a child for his sick play.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream seemed to be taken aback by the difference in tone: “Sapnap I-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <b>No</b>
  <span>! Why would you even fucking care!? You don’t ever care! You didn’t care that my pets got murdered, </span>
  <b>you</b>
  <span> were the one who used them as leverage over me!”, Sapnap yelled, his throat burning from the sudden use of his voice, he couldn’t remember last time he spoke that loud.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh come on now, I was trying to get back our land-”, if it was any other situation Sapnap would be terrified to cut off Dream, Dream didn’t like being cut off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You put me against my best friends! You put me against both Tubbo and Fundy! Do you want to know how everyone is?”, it took him all his power not to get into Dream’s face, despite losing his muscle mass Dream was still taller than him, “Fine, I will tell you how they are!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you want to know that George doesn’t sleep anymore? He’s so fucking terrified of falling asleep, because he’s scared something will happen and I will disappear and leave just broken pieces and memories behind me! Karl watches over me every single night because I wake up choking on air screaming for you to come help! Because you promised you always would!”, his voice was hitting off of cell walls, with his chest rising and falling as if he just finished a battle, “And don’t even get me started on Puffy. She tries to be so strong, to help everyone, on one side he has two kids that </span>
  <b>you</b>
  <span> fucked up, on another she has her fiance that went batshit crazy, also thanks to you if you didn’t catch that, while on the other side she has to deal with you being locked up. She loved you with all her heart, you were like a kid to her! She still believes there’s good in you, you fucking idiot!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every breath he took was harder than the previous, tears that came to his eyes barely let him see Dream who stood in front of him: “And Bad is so far gone we barely see him and Quackity still tries to make us all smile while he’s trying to deal with his own shit and- and Sam doesn’t spend time with us, Callahan just </span>
  <b>left</b>
  <span> I haven’t seen him in ages! A-And… and I just want everything to go back to normal. I just want to be able to talk about you without George sending a whole day helping me come down from a panic attack- and I want to go home but it’s barely holding together but we can’t bring ourselves to build it up because it’s not the same without you. And-and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What little air he could take into his lungs was suddenly too much and his body rejected every bit of it as sobs shook his whole body and his legs almost sent him to the obsidian floor. It was once again too much. Sapnap didn’t want to go that far, he didn’t want to yell at Dream or realize how many things went wrong after Dream was locked up (how many things went wrong because they realized what kind of person he was). He shouldn’t have made himself so vulnerable, at least when he was passive it didn’t hurt as much because he refused to remember. He refused to let any thoughts of Dream plague his mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While he was spiraling down he felt a hand around his biceps and he closed his eyes as hard as he could, squeezing them shut until he saw stars appear in the darkness. He didn’t wanna be here. Every fiber in Sapnap’s body yelled that he needed to leave, to run from the danger because you don’t yell at Dream like that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sap ...your eyes, I need you … open…. eyes”, Sapnap heard the familiar smooth voice somewhere in the back of his head, but it was hard to grasp onto what he was saying, it had to do something with eyes, he heard something about the eyes, but rest of the sentence was hard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sapnap , you gotta open your eyes, come on”, he felt hand reach close to his face and his only instinct was to bring his hands to cover them, but just as one of his hands shot up to girp them Sapnap felt hold on his biceps and his eyes shot open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What he was met with was Dream’s confused (worried?) expression looking at him. It felt like he was just a kid again and him and Dream shared a room because he was sick. Bad was very angry because they both got sick. His best friend (was he still his best friend?) was crouching in front of him with his eyes fixated on Sapnap’s form.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream waited for him to speak, before speaking up himself when he realized that Sapnap was too stunned to continue speaking: “I’m going to hug you, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hug sounded nice, he could do with a hug, it will help him calm down to feel pressure, to feel like he is on the ground. When he thought it through he rewarded Dream with a gentle nod to which the older gently pulled him down to be at his level. Dream scooted them back to lean onto the obsidian wall before he pulled Sapnap close to his chest, allowing him to cling to his hoodie and hide his face against the hood. Sapnap felt light pressure all around himself, slightly grounding him and allowing him to focus on just getting comfortable where he was pressed against Dream.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... I feel like I can’t breathe anymore… whenever I think about the past I can’t breathe, I can’t think about anything anymore because somehow it always comes back to us… when we were just having fun… when there was no discs or countries o-or any of that”, Sapnap spoke in small voice, tears quietly running down his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>All that he got was a thumb running over his cheek, wiping away the tears that ran down every so often: “I’m… I can never apologize enough for what I did Sapnap. I can promise you that… if I could I would have protected you… I never wanted you and George to get hurt… I never meant for that to happen…” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sapnap laughed humorlessly, his hands fisted in the hoodie: “... you did… you knew it would end up bad for us… you just didn’t care…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sapnap’s head was filled with pictures of his friends, of ruined homes and corpses that Dream left in his wake. His vision got overtaken by Puffy’s figure while she stood looking at the prison with her hands hugging her body and sobs shaking her shoulders. When they saw her Geroge told him that they can’t help her, so they passed by. There was a flash of pink hair he saw in one of the trees around the prison and Tommy’s hollow eyes after one of his visits to Dream. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You never really did…”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hated it? Loved it? Leave your opinion in the comments I'd love to hear them. Leave kudos and share if you think someone will find this interesting!</p><p>I speedran this like Techno speedran Dream's funeral.<br/>I'm very proud of some parts of this and not so proud of some others, BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS, it was a joy to write and I'm proud of it</p><p>if heat waves comes out and crashes ao3 on the day i post this like it happened last time im rioting this is a conspiracy /j</p><p>some things about this:<br/>-it made sense to me that dsmp!Dream had anger management issues and ppl got hurt because of that (mostly ppl that are close to him)<br/>-bad is surrogate parent to DT<br/>-sapnap, tubbo and fundy were good friends before the war<br/>-sapnap has better version of dream than he actually is<br/>-draft name in my docs is: 'sapnap misses his friend'<br/>-karl is a time traveler, that's where he got sapnap the silky shirt he freaks over<br/>-sapnap freaking out over silk is my reaction to silk i just thought it would add to the moment</p><p>That's it from me! Ill try to update my other shit over next few weeks, but school started (ill still do my best!)</p><p>Love y'all, stay safe.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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